“A pet rock is a serious commitment and too much responsibility for a ten year old to handle on his own”

“If anything, I've taken from this that I am indeed a good natured person, when I love I give it my all, I'm open to compromise and commitment, when something goes wrong, I'll try my hardest to fix it when some people would just walk away. I believe that is a true sign of character, to be willing to not give up when shit hits the fan, and try every possible route to fix things.”

“hornier than a bunny on ecstasy”

“I was convinced that there was at least a seventy-three percent chance he was gay. I bumped it up from sixty-eight after our third game. Zack showed up wearing a light pink shirt that was tighter than usual.”

“The first ten million years were the worst," said Marvin, "and the second ten million years, they were the worst too. The third ten million years I didn't enjoy at all. After that I went into a bit of a decline.”

“Jesus doesn't hold back with Nicodemus.Following Jesus would require a commitment that would cost Nicodemus a great deal....In fact, it's true throughout all of Scripture....Following Jesus isn't something you can do at night where no one notices. It's a twenty-four-hour-a-day commitment that will interfere with your life. That's not the small-print--that's a guarantee.”

“Mistakes were made long ago. It is someone else's fault. We can't be held responsible, but we are very sorry.”