“Then I’m suddenly reminded of how I get engulfed with nightmares of Mom’s death as soon as I fall asleep. Hesitantly, I call to him, “Hey, Adrian?”“Yeah?”“Can you hold my hand the entire night?” My voice comes out as a quiet whisper.There’s a pause. I’m almost afraid to meet his eyes. Heartbeat picking up faster, his fingers interweave with mine and lace them together. I turn almost reflexively and I’m faced with his eyes—burning so green that it’s hard to look away. And for a second—one second, there is this feeling that flits in my chest, making my breath catch.Then his eyes close and I blink slowly—feeling as I’m in a dream-like trance. Then mine slide close too after a while of memorizing this moment, this moment of silent peacefulness.The gentle pressure of his hand holding mine coaxes me into sleep.This time, there’s only a soothing blankness. And we sleep just like that; backs curved together, my head folded in his chest. As we hold hands, I fall into the awaiting darkness.”

“What were you doing with her?” The words burst from my lips. Before I can take them back, he stares at me.I stare back at him as the silence stretches onwards.We’re both stiff. He says nothing. “Maybe I should ask you the same thing.”I shake my head, my nails digging into my palms.Then before I can react, he has pushed me roughly up the wall, his eyes now dark and fiery, like a storm ready to unleash itself. Good. He’s mad too. His hands force me to the wall as he presses his body against mine. The intensity of the move, the feel of him makes my breath hitch.“Get off me,” I seethe, pounding my fists into his chest but Adrian keeps me locked in place, so that his breath caresses my ear.“Were you guys too rushed?’ He mocks. “Too desperate to book a hotel room?”I can barely stifle a disgusted snort. “What are you talking about?” Fury pumps through my head. “A hotel room? What kind of girl do you think I am—mmf?”He moves against me, moving to kiss me. The moment where his lips meet mine hard and unyielding. He tastes of smoke and lipgloss—and I’m reminded of the scene earlier where he and Lauren got out of the closet together. Disgust fills me as I squirm in his arms.He groans, fire burning in his voice. “You want me, you’re trying to hide from it.” “No,” I try to bite the words at him but it comes out strangled.I try to push him away but before I have to, he releases me.I try to put as much distance between him and myself, shaking. Loathing is my voice. "Get away from me. I hate you."He swallows and looks away, his breathing slowing. He pushes himself from the wall, still very pale.Then closing his eyes and turning, he starts walking away, heading towards the parking lot. "I hate you!" I scream again behind him.Adrian stops for a moment, his back to me. “I’ve told you from the very beginning. You should.”He keeps on walking, never glancing back.”

“Hey,” I reached out and tapped the hand that rested next to my left leg. “you are--”The hand that I tapped reached up and clasped mine. I froze as he threaded his finders through mine. “I’m what?”Beautiful. Kind. Patient. Perfect. I said none of those things. Instead, I stared at his fingers, wondering if he knew he was holding my hand. “You’re always so….”His thumb moved over the top of my hand. The balm made his fingers cool and smooth. “What?”I looked up, and I was immediately snared. His stare, his soft touch along my hand was doing very strange things. I felt hot and dizzy, like I’d been out in the sun all day. All I could think about was how his hand felt on mine. Then, what his hand would feel like on other parts. I shouldn’t be thinking that at all.Aiden was a pure.”

“Spend the night with me.” (...)“I’m tired of living like I’m not alive.” He dropped his hands from my face to grip my shoulders. “I’m bloody sick to death of it. I want one night to be alive. With you.” He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead on mine.“Please, Anna. One last night and we’ll go back to being safe again. I need this. I need you.”

“We kiss again and this time, it feels familiar. I know exactly how we fit together, his arm around my waist, my hands on his chest, the pressure of his lips on mine. We have each other memorized.”

“I stop crying for a moment when light from the street steals into my bedroom as Silas gently pushes the curtain aside. He leans against the wall, arms folded across his bare chest and hair falling in front of his eyes. Almost silently, he moves to the tiny space between my bed and the wall and lowers himself to the floor. Raising his knees to his chest, he drops his head and reaches for my hand, running his thumb across my knuckles silently.I slide off the bed, sheets wrapped around my legs, and ease into his lap, tucking my face against his neck. He cradles me against him like he’s afraid to let me go. I know I should shy away, that I should climb back into my bed out of loyalty to my sister. But there’s something that locks me in place, something that won’t let me stray from the gentle rise and fall of his chest or from his arms, supporting me like I’m something precious as his lips brush across my forehead.Without speaking, we finally fall asleep.”

“You’re unbelievable,” I snapped.“I’m yours.”That socked me in the gut too, so hard it winded me and all I could do was stare up at him. Taking advantage, his face dipped close and his hands curled around both sides of my head.“First fuckin’ time you smiled at me in my bed, that’s when it happened,” he murmured. “You’re under my skin. I’m under yours.”I shook my head and his face got even closer, all I could see were his sky blue eyes, all I could feel were his lips a breath away from mine.“I like you there, buddy, and you like me there too.”