“Did you know that if Barbie was a real woman with those proportions, she'd have to carry her kidneys in her purse?”

“When you knit, if you get something wrong and keep knitting, then when you discover it, you have to rip out all those rows of stitching to go back and fix it, Life is like that. Sometimes, it has to rip out all the stitches to go back and fix what's wrong.”

“You have to watch your language. People will think you have no fucking class”

“Anyway, back to the crush. Sorry to shift gears so fast, but we both know why we're here. I mean, if I wanted to discuss the existential angst of motherhood I'd be writing in a journal. Diaries are for the down and dirty, the stuff you don't want people to ever find out about you. Journals are the things you leave open around the house, hoping a literary agent will wander in, read it and declare you the next genius of your age.”

“Look, we say stuff to women all the time. We say we’ll call them, then we don’t. We tell them they’re beautiful, then spend the evening looking at other women. We say we don’t love them when we do, and say we do when we don’t. Christ, if I was a woman, I wouldn’t listen to a goddamn thing any man ever said to me.”

“What are you doing eating a salad? If you turned sideways in the wind, you'd whistle.”

“I crossed my arms. "You're saying I'm not usually polite?"He staged a sigh. "It's amazing how quickly I can regret saying something with you…""I'm polite. I'm very fucking polite.”