“I bet that dog-walking trollop called the cops on us.”

“Once when I had remarked on the affection quite often found between cat and dog, my friend replied, "Yes. But I bet no dog would ever confess it to the other dogs.”

“I called the cops to see if I had a rap sheet. I do, and it rhymes.”

“I was a quick-wit boy Diving too deep for coins All of your street light eyes Wide on my plastic toys And when the cops closed the fair I cut my long baby hair Stole me a dog-eared map And called for you everywhere”

“The bulletproof vest--'bullet resistant,' technically--is made of two double panels of a synthetic material called Kevlar, inside a cloth carrier that holds it around your torso like a lead X-ray smock. One cop wrote phrases from the Bible on his, 'Yea, though I walk in the valley of the Shadow of Death...' Other cops wrote their blood type.”

“I saw the corpse, and I called the cops. But not before I called a 1-800 phone sex number with the dead guy’s phone and credit card.”