“If you decide to war with us, you will fail and suffer an eternity of misery,” he informed, his tone steady and cold. “Is that explicit enough?”“Oh, don’t be so dramatic,” I said cheerfully, getting in touch with my inner smartass.”

“If you ever touch her again I will fucking kill you,” he said in a cold lethal tone that sent chills down her back. “You so much as look at her and I will kill you.”

“He is the same chap who informed me that there are unusually high numbers of Mennonites who suffer from depression but nobody knows why. I said, Well, thank you for that! As cheerfully as if I was accepting a plate of homemade Christmas cookies from one of my students.”

“You know,” he said, “this is why I love you so much.”Her tone was heartbreakingly warm. “What do you mean?”You don’t ask me to go inside because it’s cold. You just want to make it easier for me to be where I want to stand.”

“Well then, I guess I’m man enough to admit that I’m trying to get in touch with my inner bitch.”

“Typical" Kisten said, his eyes dramatically sad. "Try to do something nice for a person, cheer her up, and what do I get? Abused and robbed.”