“He grew out his hair," June says. "He looks amazing.""He looks like a giant caramel with some carpet lint stuck to the top of it.”

“Eugene's got a fake ID, and he actually gets away with using it because he looks like he's thirty-six, thanks to his devotion to tasseled shoes and his ridiculous carpet of chest hair.”

“He stood up straight and looked the world squarely in the fields and hills. To add weight to his words he stuck the rabbit bone in his hair. He spread his arm out wide. "I will go mad!" he annouced.”

“F**k!" he exploded, chocolate and caramel flying out of his mouth. My heart seized. He looked like he was going to have a chocolate-caramel-layer-square-induced heart attack. ..."These are unbe-f**king-lievable. I think I've finally fallen in love, with a f**kin' brownie!”

“He looks exotic. Maybe Hawaiian or Cuban. He has light caramel skin, jet black hair and eyes to match. And the smile he turns on me? Holy shit.What is this? The land of misfit models?”

“He looked like a giant lion lying belly-up in the sun with his legs hanging open, licking his paws and airing out his balls.”