“Oh, there's a wholesome outing.' I say. 'Let's all skip down to the cop shop to register my daddy as a pervert. What fun.”

“I signed on for the role of ‘boyfriend,’ not ‘conscience.’ If you want wholesome and ethical, you’ll have to look elsewhere. But I promise that won’t be half as much fun as this is….” His hand slid down my side and over my hip, and my heart beat faster.”

“[...]I am a romance slut, and there's nothing I can do about it. If a guy does or says something romantic, I'm all "Oh, please excuse me, kind sir, let me dial down my IQ and oh, if it would please sir, may I offer you this moist, yet helpless va-jay-jay that seems to have lost its way."-The Chronicles of Abby Normal”

“but you men... you're all alike. Alive, dead, undead- all perverts! I had a drunken pervert in my pants! Do you know how unsanitary that is?""What are you saying?""Winston poltergeisted my panties, that's what!""Why, you scurvy, lecherous spook! If my pipes still worked, I'd go right back there and piss on your grave!”

“Oh, come now, Manon,” Ilyse laughed, “It’s my job to liven things up a bit, too. I can’t let you and your dimples have all the fun.”

“Outings are so much more fun when we can savor them through the children's eyes.”