“You may be a manipulative bastard sometimes, but you are our manipulative bastard.”

“Why, you may ask, didn't we have a cow tonight? No one would sell Bayard one. He had the brilliant idea of telling the farmers why he wanted the cow. The God-fearing folk would sell their cows to be eaten, but not for raising zombies. Prejudiced bastards.”

“Death, especially violent death, will turn the meanest bastard in the world into a nice guy. Why is that?”

“Why was I mad? Because he'd surprised me with a really nice hotel room. What a bastard.”

“Sometimes love makes you selfish. Sometimes it makes you stupid. Sometimes it reminds you why you love your gun.”

“Sometimes you fight what you are, and sometimes you give in to it. And some nights you just don’t want to fight yourself anymore, so you pick someone else to fight.”

“There comes a point when you just love someone. Not because they're good, or bad, or anything really. You just love them. It doesn't mean you'll be together forever. It doesn't mean you won't hurt each other. It just mean you love them. Sometimes in spite of who they are, and sometimes because of who they are. And you know that they love you, sometimes because of who you are, and sometimes in spite of it.”