“I know stealing a foot is weird. But, hello, living in a house where a foot is available to be stolen is weird.”
“He's as weird as snake's suspenders but sweet as a stolen kiss, too.”
“I used to think anyone doing anything weird was weird. Now I know that it is the people that call others weird that are weird.”
“Jack's height comes from his mom. She has one of those weird "I'm taller than my husband" things going on. I find it weird anyway. Probably because I'm five foot two, and in order to marry someone shorter than me, I'd have to start searching the ranks of little people.”
“I know she's weird. Her friends know she's weird. And we all accept it because she's weird, but also amazing.”
“If I can just find my wife’s foot under the covers, I know everything will be OK. Then I can put that foot where I hid the rest of her body.”