“I hate that about guys. At least girls have the decency to be fake and pretend everything’s okay when shit gets weird. Whenever guys get upset, they get all angry and scary”
“I don't care about the little guy. I just hate the big guy. I hate big smug people who think they can get away with things.”
“To get a good girl, you have to be a bad guy.”
“Brendan's not the guy you use to figure your shit out, Brendan's the guy you hope you get once you have figured your shit out.”
“If you are a guy full of shit without the gold medal, if you get the gold medal you are still a guy full of shit.”
“When a guy and a girl get together, he puts his thing where she urinates and gets her period”