“Replace the old memory with a potentially crappier new one? No thank you.”

“POSSIBLE OPENERS AFTER YOU'VE GOTTEN DRUNK AND SLEPT IN YOUR GUY ROOMMATE'S BED (A LIST):1. Hey, Drew, thanks for letting me sleep in your bed. I hope I didn't puke all over your sheets.2. What do you mean? I slept in your bed? Really? I don't remember any of it, I was so wasted.3. Thanks for not trying to molest me.”

“The firs day of high school is bullshit anyways. It's supposed to be about new beginnings, but really all it does is wreck your life. And set you up for failure. And make you realize everything is completely and totally fucked.”

“Everyone's fake in certain situations. It's like when you go for a job interview and they ask you, "What would you do if you found one of your friends at work stealing?" and, let's face it, no one's going to tell on their friend. But of course you have to say, "I would tell IMMEDIATELY, because I don't think I could work in that kind of environment, it's not good for my morale." No one wants to look like an idiot.”

“Everyone knows that you should never wreck your life for a boy, and especially not one that you meet while you're in high school.”

“I’m too quiet. But I’m really not quiet. I just tend to come across that way to new people because I don’t like to talk first.”

“Manipulating situations is one thing, but lying is another. My theory (especially with girls) is that if you don't lie, you can't be held responsible for anything bad that goes down.”