“-Te perdi -Dice.- Esa fue mi consecuencia -Cooper”

“Eliza: The problem with YOU is that you don't take the RESPONSIBILITY for anything@ You think you can just run around, doing whatever you want to whoever you want, and that it's going to be fine. That everything is just going to be TAKE CARE of for you, with no consequences.Cooper: No. I don't, and I have had consequences from what happened with me and you.Eliza: Yeah? Like what?Cooper: I lost you, that was my consequence.”

“Okay,” Cooper says agreeably. “But what if you and Nigel fall in love, and Nigel and I become BFFs, and then you guys get married, and Nigel wants me to be the best man, and you and I have to talk about the wedding plans?”“That would never happen, because since Nigel would be so in love with me, he would have dumped you as a BFF as soon as we got engaged and/or told you you were not allowed to be best man at our wedding, per my wishes.”“Yes, but—”“Wait a minute,” I say. “Did you just say ‘BFF’?”“Yes,” he says. He looks at me and shrugs. “I’ve been watching a lot of Disney Channel.”

“Everyone's fake in certain situations. It's like when you go for a job interview and they ask you, "What would you do if you found one of your friends at work stealing?" and, let's face it, no one's going to tell on their friend. But of course you have to say, "I would tell IMMEDIATELY, because I don't think I could work in that kind of environment, it's not good for my morale." No one wants to look like an idiot.”

“You are definitely not a slut," Jasmine says, putting her arms around her. "Having sex with a guy you like does not make you a slut. Now if you start having sex with every guy you like, then we'll reclassify you according to level of skankiness.”

“POSSIBLE OPENERS AFTER YOU'VE GOTTEN DRUNK AND SLEPT IN YOUR GUY ROOMMATE'S BED (A LIST):1. Hey, Drew, thanks for letting me sleep in your bed. I hope I didn't puke all over your sheets.2. What do you mean? I slept in your bed? Really? I don't remember any of it, I was so wasted.3. Thanks for not trying to molest me.”

“Jesus. Who does he think he is? He's always out partying and drinking with his friends. I do it once and all of a sudden I'm a candidate for AA.”