“EAT SANDWICH, NOT OWN MOUTH.”

“It's hard to tell people who they should hang out with and who they shouldn't, especially if they aren't ready to hear that. You have to let your friends make their own mistakes sometimes. You can't protect them from everything, or else they'll never learn”

“I used to think that diamonds were a girl's best friend, but now I realize it's carbohydrates. Seriously, I have a French baguette at home sporting a matching friendship bracelet.”

“In case you didn't notice me, I'm the less attractive friend to the right.”

“Small talk. Catching up. Thinly veiled hostility.”

“Hollywood was fine with fakes, but it was most definitely not okay with frauds.”

“Why had Jesse asked Scarlett to sit next to him? And since when did guys go to the bathroom together?”