“In case you didn't notice me, I'm the less attractive friend to the right.”

“It's hard to tell people who they should hang out with and who they shouldn't, especially if they aren't ready to hear that. You have to let your friends make their own mistakes sometimes. You can't protect them from everything, or else they'll never learn”

“As soon as I walk out that door, you're gonna decide you want me back. You might even tell yourself that you're in love with me. But you're not. You never will be.”

“A true friend is someone who never gets tired listening to your pointless drama over and over again.”

“Love...who needed love? As long as she had her books and her friends and an occasional hookup, she was perfectly content.”

“I used to think that diamonds were a girl's best friend, but now I realize it's carbohydrates. Seriously, I have a French baguette at home sporting a matching friendship bracelet.”

“If he hurts you again, so help me God, I will personally inflict him with severe bodily harm.”