“Small talk. Catching up. Thinly veiled hostility.”

“I used to think that diamonds were a girl's best friend, but now I realize it's carbohydrates. Seriously, I have a French baguette at home sporting a matching friendship bracelet.”

“EAT SANDWICH, NOT OWN MOUTH.”

“In case you didn't notice me, I'm the less attractive friend to the right.”

“Hollywood was fine with fakes, but it was most definitely not okay with frauds.”

“Why had Jesse asked Scarlett to sit next to him? And since when did guys go to the bathroom together?”

“Real relationships - the kind that were supposed to last but never did - were more trouble than they were worth.”