“It's always better to be the dumper than the dumpee.”
“Being called the nice girl, is way better than being called a bitch.”
“I used to think that diamonds were a girl's best friend, but now I realize it's carbohydrates. Seriously, I have a French baguette at home sporting a matching friendship bracelet.”
“EAT SANDWICH, NOT OWN MOUTH.”
“In case you didn't notice me, I'm the less attractive friend to the right.”
“Small talk. Catching up. Thinly veiled hostility.”