“Hi there! You’re cute. Do you have any girlfriends? ‘Cause Gran says Momma needs a man in her life. Then Pops says, ‘Pfft, Martine, the last thing Elise needs is a man!’ But I think my Gran is right.”“Rennie, for tonight, let’s play the think-about-what-we-say-before-we-say-it-game.”

“Like I need to play on the Wii when you're there willing to f*** me. Video games are what men invented to fill the sex void. Any man who chooses video games over sex deserves to live in his mother's basement with his mint-condition, in box Star Wars figurines and his real doll.”

“Umm, let me see. Hmmm, what to say, what to say? Oh, I know. Fuck you.”

“I think the question is, can you live without her? Watch her fall in love with someone else?.....If the fear of some random thing happening in the future is bigger than the reality of her being with another guy, walk away now when it'll merely sort of kill you to do it. But you can't have this doubt between you. Man up. Love her the way she deserves it, or let another man do it.”

“The last thing I want to do is harm her. Especially now. She’s in me. I breathed her in. I kissed her and took a good long taste. This is not just a female I enjoy. This one is so much more than that. My beast has chosen and the man seems to agree.”

“We're your safe place, El. Me and Elise. The guys. We're your family. You don't need to pull lattes. You have your degree, you have a great job and you'll take the crappy part of your past and use that to help people get to the good part of their future.”

“Sugar, I am not playing a game. This is serious. I mean to woo you, so shut up and let me do it.”