“The most important thing about reading is not the level of sophistication of the books on your shelf. There is no prerequisite reading regimen for being a bookworm.”
“Pizza tastes as good as being skinny feels.”
“Let's still be friends" (things that are never true in a break up, but you have to say).”
“The prettier the wine bottle, the higher the likelihood sorority girls will buy it.”
“If you can spell "Nietzsche" without Google, you deserve a cookie.”
“Not interested in love or money. Interested in french fries.”
“Twitter provides us with a wonderful platform to discuss/confront societal problems. We trend Justin Bieber instead.”