“I was just teasing," I say. "I myself don't like to eat plain butter, but hey, it's a free world.”

“They follow meaningless, boring rules and live meaningless, boring lives."Ahh," I say. "Except for you, of course."That's right."Because you eat butter straight from the pan."She arches her eyebrows, like Hey, I call it like I see it.Whatever," I say. "I'm not going to eat Snoopy just to make a statement.”

“Is he a sophomore?" Lydia says. "Please tell me he's in our grade.""I don't know," I say. "But weren't you there when he came to the office?" Peyton says."The secretary didn't get out her bullhorn and announce what grade he's in. She just took him to meet Headmaster Perkins.”

“This is your birthday treat, and you're supposed to enjoy it, I reminded myself. It was part of my normal existence to give myself instructions like this. Maybe other people acted and lived in total naturalness. I often wondered if they did. But me? I needed an operating manual.”

“Even so, I was proud of myself for taking action at all. I didn't hide or run away or pretend the ugliness didn't happen. I stood up and said something that was true. I said it out loud, and by doing so, I was standing up for lots of people, not just me.”

“I live in my own little world. But its ok, they know me here.”

“It's the way it works," she said in clipped tones. "For one rise, another must fall." "But why? Why can't we just rise, and everybody else can stay where they are? I wouldn't care!" "And you think I would?" Keisha demanded. She glared at me, the visibly pulled herself back. When she exhaled, her nostrils flared. "Say you've taken a math test. Or an English test, since you love books so much. And you get a hundred. You're psyched, right? 'Mom, I got a hundred! I got the highest grade in the class!'" She raised her eyebrows. "But say everybody else gets a hundred, too. Are you still as proud?" "Of course," I said stubbornly. "I'd still have my A." "Bullshit. You like your As because other people get Cs. Because that means you're smarted than they are. Better than they are." "I don't think I'm better than anyone." "Then you're and idiot.”