“Fourth period I have "life skills", which is what they call gym when you're old enough to be offended by forced physical activity (Elody thinks they should call it slavery instead, for accuracy).”

“Still, I worry. They say that in the old days, love drovepeople to madness. That’s bad enough. The Book of Shhhalso tells stories of those who died because of love lost ornever found, which is what terrifies me the most.The deadliest of all deadly things: It kills you both whenyou have it and when you don’t”

“Mmm, butt bagels." Elody reaches into the bag and pulls out a bagel, half squashed, then makes a big deal of taking an enormous bite out of it. "Taste like Victoria's Secret.""Taste like thong floss," I say."Taste like crack," Lindsay says."Taste like fart," Elody says, and Lindsay spits coffee on the dashboard, and I start laughing and can't stop, and all the way to school we're thinking of flavors for butt bagels, and I'm thinking that this---my life, my friends---might be weird or screwy or imperfect or damaged or whatever, but it's never seemed better to me.”

“Symptoms of Amor Deliria NervosaPHASE ONE:-preoccupation; difficulty focusing-dry mouth-perspiration, sweaty palms-fits of dizziness and disorientation-reduced mental awareness; racing thoughts; impaired reasoning skillsPHASE TWO:-periods of euphoria; hysterical laughter and heightened energy-periods of despair; lethargy-changes in appetite; rapid weight loss or weight gain-fixation; loss of other interests-compromised reasoning skills; distortion of reality-disruption of sleep patterns; insomnia or constant fatigue-obsessive thoughts and actions-paranoia; insecurityPHASE THREE (CRITICAL):-difficulty breathing-pain in the chest, throat or stomach-complete breakdown of rational faculties; erratic behavior; violent thoughts and fantasies; hallucinations and delusionsPHASE FOUR (FATAL):-emotional or physical paralysis (partial or total)-deathIf you fear that you or someone you know may have contracted deliria, please call the emergency line toll-free at 1-800-PREVENT to discuss immediate intake and treatment.”

“This is the strange way of the world, that people who simply want to love are instead forced to become warriors.”

“Every single floorboard quivers and shudders under my feet, and I start mentally bargaining with the house: If I make it to the front door without waking up Aunt Carol, I swear to God I’ll never slam another door. I’ll never call you “an old piece of turd” again.”

“It's like there's a filter set up in my brain, except instead of making things better, it twists everything around so what comes out of my mouth is totally wrong, totally different from what I was thinking.”