“...if you are one tardy away from missing out on a big competition, you should probably make your coffee at home.”

“Unless you're trying to make a pile of bread crumbs to find your way home, you should probably give that roll a break.”

“Let the best of your competition take out the rest of your competition, while you rest and then take out only that one guy.”

“Whether it's food or women, the ones on front street are supermodels. Big hair, big tits, big trouble, but the one you come home to is probably something like cavatelli and red sauce. She's not screaming for attention because she knows she's good enough even if your dumb ass hasn't figured it out yet.”

“The Coffee Guy, whose name is Rosie by the way, has moved to El Salvador.' I lied.This was not met with happy noises.'He's turned his back on coffee and is in the wilds of Central America building houses for the poor. I think we should all take a moment away from our quest for coffee-satisfaction and think about this noble decision. As you clamor for caffeine and curse the hard-working but innocent staff at my store, Rosie is sitting in the bed of a beat-up pickup bumping across roads to make one room homes out of mud for those who have nothing at all”

“When you are drowned by your sorry state, and you feel as if you are carried away from the road that leads to your desires, you should know that you are the one responsible for being led away from the right path.”