“No guy in his right mind would ever choose me when there are people like Hana in the world: It would be like settling for a stale cookie when what you really want is a big bowl of ice cream, whipped cream and cherries and chocolate sprinkles included.”

“Derek’s like, “So . . . what do you want to do first?”“I don’t know.”“Feel like ice cream?”“It’s, like, three degrees out.”“That’s why getting ice cream would be badass.”

“My personality made me easy to get along with – unless you were looking at my guy like he was a big, juicy slab of prime rib with a side of mint chocolate chiop ice cream.”

“Chocolate, coffee, and ice cream were far more reliable when it came to providing a good time, and at least they would never disappoint me.”

“Eliza got vanilla ice cream with butterscotch sauce, whipped cream, and a cherry. She asked me to get chocolate ice cream with hot fudge and marshmallows. This way, she explained, we could share without overlapping flavors. Except she was pretty goddamn stingy with hers. She only gave me one bite. Meanwhile I was supposed to let her eat half of mine.”

“I have qualms and wonder what a qualm would look like if you painted it -- probably like a bowl of melting ice cream or a dish of Jell-o just before it sets.”