“Standing there in-between two disgusting Dumpsters in some crappy alleywith the whole world crumbling down around me, and hearing Alex say thosewords, all the fear I have carried with me since I learned to sit, stand, breathe—since I was told that at the very heart of me was something wrong, somethingrotten and diseased, something to be suppressed—since I was told that I wasalways just a heartbeat away from being damaged—all of it vanishes at once.That thing—the heart of hearts of me, the core of my core—stretches and unfurlseven further, soaring like a flag: making me feel stronger than I ever have before.”

“The perfect quote sprang to mind, but I resisted saying it under my breath, since Jonathan would hear. I couldn’t even mouth the words, since for all I knew, he’d hear my lips moving. So I conjured up a vision of the Tin Man and let him say it for me in my head. “Now I know I’ve got a heart. I can feel it breaking.”

“For years and years, I convinced myself that I was unbreakable, an animal with an animal strength or something not human at all. Me, I told people, I take damage like a wall, a brick wall that never falls down, never feels anything, never flinches or remembers. I am one woman but I carry in my body all the stories I have ever been told, women I have known, women who have taken damage until they tell themselves they can feel no pain at all.”

“If you asked me how I felt when they told me I would marry Wen Fu, I can say only this: It was like being told I had won a big prize. And it was also like being told my head was going to be chopped off. Something between those two feelings.”

“Well I want something to do, to create, to achieve, to whatever.... Something I can’t get enough of. You know something that I can't wait to get up in the morning to do something I can't get enough of, something that brings me joy and makes my heart sing. It could be anything, could be more than one thing but something that grabs me. Even a job, if it grabs me so that I could hardly wait to get there. Something that makes me feel good, allows me to be me, gives me freedom to grow and expand, something that grasps my heart, my joy, my excitement and leads me down the path to more joyful things, exciting challenges and challenging things. Barely stopping to take a breath I continued. Need a new journey a new destination, I want to grow to be or become, tread a new path, see what I haven't seen be what I haven't been ask what I haven't asked dare to what I haven't dared to . . . I don't even think it is so much a physical thing or mental it's just sort of un-learning some of what I learned It’s being happy, while I am happy but I want something to do that creates even more. (..)Doing it for the joy of doing it not for any other reason; also I want it from and un-edited creativity free flowing something… I have some things that seem very interesting and somehow just don’t feel right almost like I’m taking the wrong path and yet there are other things that I could be doing like writing but it seems that it does not feel good to sit and write but yet some part of me seems to love it and something in me hates it sort of like it could be the thing for me to do and yet it might not be.”

“When my whole body is pushed against his, I wrap my legs around his waist, forcing him to carry me the way my heart had been carrying HIM since the moment he saw me.”