“Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.”

“You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.”

“A pessimist is a man who looks both ways when he crosses the street.”

“You don't need to take a persons advice to make him feel good, just ask him for it.”

“If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?”

“Before publishers' blurbs were invented, authors had to make their reputations by writing.”

“Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.”