“It is my first morning of high school. I have seven new notebooks, a skirt I hate, and a stomachache.”

“Most of my friends from Columbia are going on to get advanced degrees. And why not? A Ph.D. is the new M.A., a master's is the new bachelor's, a B.A. is the new high school diploma, and a high school diploma is the new smiley-face sticker on your first-grade spelling test.”

“I think of those little sullen-faced Year Sevens back in high school and here are these people who have such a great spirit and so little.”

“Hairstyles change, and skirt lengths, and slang, but high school administrations? Never.”

“My intellectual achievement was retarded when I went to high school. I sort of sank into a black hole because I had to go to the high-achieving, academic public high school.”

“Every morning I cheer on my Cheerios, but I don’t really want them to win. Secretly I’m trying to drown them and eat them—just like I tried to do to my teammates in my tenure on my high school swim team.”