“The parents are making threatening noises, turning dinner into performance art, with dad doing his Arnold Schwarzenegger imitation and mom playing Glenn Close in one of her psycho roles. I am the Victim.Mom: [creepy smile] “Thought you could put one over us, did you, Melinda? Big high school students now, don’t need to show your homework to your parents, don’t need to show any failing test grades?”Dad: [bangs table, silverware jumps] “Cut the crap. She knows what’s up. The interim reports came today. Listen to me, young lady. I’m only going to say this to you once. You get those grades up or your name is mud. Hear me? Get them up!” [Attacks baked potato.]”

“Dear Mom and Dad,I know you’re only trying to do what’s best for me, but I don’t think anyone knows for sure what’s best. I love you and don’t want to be a problem, so I’ve decided to go away. I know you’ll say I’m not a problem, but I know I am. If you want to know why I’m doing this, you should ask Dr. Luce, who is a big liar! I am not a girl. I’m a boy. That’s what I found out today. So I’m going where no one knows me. Everyone in Grosse Pointe will talk when they find out. Sorry I took your money, Dad, but I promise to pay you back someday, with interest.Please don’t worry about me. I will be ALL RIGHT!Despite it’s contents, I signed this declaration to my parents: “Callie.” It was the last time I was ever their daughter.”

“I want a tutor,” Layla said. “It would make doing homework so much easier.”“Me too,” said Kaitlyn. “If Layla gets one, I get one.”“No daughter of mine will ever have a tutor,” Dad said.“What if we’re failing a course?” asked Layla.His graying eyebrows drew together. “If you fail a single course, young lady, we will pull you out of school and get you a job scrubbing toilets for the rest of your life.”

“Julie marched over to Matt. She stood in front of him and crossed her arms. “Lift up your sweatshirt.”Matt rolled his eyes. “God, you really know how to turn a guy on.”Julie didn’t budge. “If I was trying to turn you on, I could do better than that. Now, lift up your sweatshirt.”Matt looked up at her and tried to look serious. “Julie, I’m completely offended that you have so little faith in my honesty. I thought at this point in our friendship that you would at least—”“Get up.” Julie leaned over and shut his laptop. “Get up!” she said again.“You’re being ridiculous,” Matt said laughing, but he stood up. “I trust you implicitly, and it wouldn’t kill you to show me the same respect.”“Show me!”Matt sidestepped the chair and took a few steps backward. “You have quite the attitude today. Suspicious and mean.”Julie took a step forward, causing Matt to continue backing away. “Lift up your shirt.”“Look, I appreciate an aggressive woman, but this is really getting weird.”Julie grabbed his sweatshirt by the waist cuff and lifted it up with one hand, as she pulled down his T-shirt with the other. Matt put his hands over hers, lightly protesting, but she refused to let go. “Aha!” She squinted at his shirt. “OK, I don’t even know what this is, but it’s definitely geeky.”

“Well, then I’m going to have to kick your ass. No one gets to punish you. Enough of this shit, Kyle. You’re more than this. You know better than this. Yes, Mom left. But Dad stayed. I stayed. You’re more than enough for us. This is our family. You don’t get to throw away your life. I’m sorry, but you don’t. This is self-serving bullshit.”

“Here are the Top Ten things that your parents say to you:-Is that all you're going to do all day, sit in front of the computer?-When I was your age I had two jobs.-Why don't you wear some clothes that fir for a change?-Turn it down. I can hear it all the way over here.-You're not eating that for dinner.-Did you do your homework?-Stop mumbling and speak up.-Now what did you do?-Because I said so.-No.”