“Though I may be efficient at the family table, I linger at the table for two.”

“I slunkoff in the direction of the cocktail table—the only place inthe garden where a single man could linger without lookingpurposeless and alone.”

“If 2012 is the end of the world can I have a table for two at Ground Zero?”

“I want to be strapped to a table, while a family of chickens argues over who gets to eat my legs.”

“As soon as I arrived I made an attempt to find my host but the two or three people of whom I asked his whereabouts stared at me in such an amazed way and denied so vehemently an knowledge of his movements that I slunk off in the direction of the cocktail table--the only place in the garden where a single man could linger without looking purposeless and alone.”

“I met a man from Columbia who had a table for a back. I asked if it was a coffee table. He got offended and thought I was stereotyping him. How was I supposed to know it was a Three-drawer Wuchow Console Table?”