“Ha. 'Excuse me but your my soul mate. Pardon me while I kill you.' Riiiight.""I'd see if she'd go horizontal first, eh?”

“Excuse me while I go bleach my face.”

“Oh, you want me to lie still while you check me out? Damn, Red, if I'd have known that earlier I would've been horizontal already.”

“I'd like you to make a commitment to me as well. Will you be my mate?”

“Look!You want to see? See! Feast your eyes, glut your soul on my cursed ugliness! Look at Erik's face! Now you know the face of the voice! You were not content to hear me, eh? You wanted to know what I looked like? Oh, you women are so inquisitive! Well, are you satisfied? I'm a good-looking fellow, eh?...When a woman has seen me, as you have, she belongs to me.She loves me forever! I am a kind of Don Juan, you know!...Look at me! I am Don Juan Triumphant! -Erik in The Phantom of the Opera”

“Ha ha ha. But what if, right, when you come home, what if I ain't wearing nothing but Nutella?""Your double negatives make me want to kill you.”