“What Martha Stewart-like demon of a Stepford wife is possessing me?”

“God forbid the wife should have prior knowledge of sex, let alone enjoy it.”

“What couldn't I do now, having already committed such a breach of fashion logic and lived to tell the tale? Why couldn't I pretend to be a woman with a solid core of self-worth, who likes herself no matter what the nearest handsome man or evil mother thinks of her?”

“Most intelligent men and women like to go forth into the world and stalk their own prey, choose their own mirrors of dysfunction . . . .”

“They say the truth will set you free, but what nobody tells you is that sometimes the truth will also make you miserable.”

“What she said was something about trusting that everything, no matter how horrible it might seem at the moment, ultimately turns out to be a blessing.”

“Tonight, however, all I can think of is the juxtaposition of destiny and free will, and whether it makes no difference what I do, or all the difference in the world.”