“If the law imposed the death penalty for parking tickets, we’d not only have fewer parking tickets, we’d also have muchless driving.”
“The sixties are like a theme park to them. They wear the costume, buy their tickets, and they have the experience.”
“A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works.”
“If I had a vulva, I’d let you drive it like a Volvo. It’s all about safety. You could probably park on the street, but you might get a ticket.”
“If an ambulance gets in a wreck, who drives them to the hospital? Why doesn’t the hospital drive to them? I volunteer to drive, and the volume of speeding tickets I have shows I'm qualified to get there in a rush.”
“Now that parking meters have shifted from quarters to credit cards, I worry someone will steal my identity, my wallet, and my car and drive around town parking all over the place.”