“He tugged my zipper down like he was unveiling a gift, spreading my pants open. “Yeah. There it is. You have a nice fat dick. I would have never guessed it."“I’m Italian,” I said inanely.”

“I have a whisper like a zipper. Your secret is safe in my pants.”

“I’m Chaos?”“Was my dick just in you?”I fought an annoyed growl and said, “Uh... yeah.”“Then you’re Chaos.”

“[I hear phone sex can work], I sent, [but I kind of doubt text-sex would.]He sent me a picture shot down his pants. I snickered and sent him a picture of my mouth.[autehigixuhi&^%$], he sent back. Then, [yeah, phone sex not satisfying. Also I think I dick-dialed Kentucky.]”

“I nearly ran him over after he ran out in front of my car. So I slammed on the brakes, rolled down my window, and said, “Do you realize I could have killed you?” “It was stupid of me to run out in front of you,” he said. “Yeah, it was,” I replied. “But I’m not talking about now. Last Tuesday I could have killed you. Had you in the scope of my rifle, but I let you live. Now THAT was stupid.”

“It means my luck sucks," she said. "It was nice dating a guy wo treated me like a friend instead of a blow-up doll.""You were the one trying to unzip my pants in the truck!""Yeah, well, I thought you weren't interested. I didn't realize that your divining rod just pointed into a different direction.""You're killing me," he said. But it sounded like he was smiling.”