“Dad, why did you marry a crazy woman?" I asked after the usual pleasantries. "I didn't know she was crazy before I married her. By the time I found out, she was already knocked up and it was too late.”

“Why are you asking me now?" I asked. "Why didn't you ask me before?""You seemed a little...unstable," Mayson said. "Now you seem to be more like yourself...which is still...rather unstable.”

“I haven't slept with him, Mom." I whispered, lying through my teeth. I just didn't want to discuss my sex life with her. She would probably critique my oral skills or something."I should have known. You don't sleep with anybody. That's why you can't keep a man.”

“You can take care of him," she insisted. This was madness. This was a true example of temporary insanity."I can't.""Why not?" She demanded."Umm...I don't...like..." I couldn't say diapers. I had my own baby! "I don't like... black... babies...”

“Wait! Did you sleep with any of my boyfriends?""No, I promise.""Okay, good," she said, relieved."I just made out with one.""You see?" Tabitha said. "She's a whore bag.""Cum bucket," Mayson nodded in agreement."You guys," Donya made a disgusted sound. "Can we save the name calling for later? I want to hear the hoe's story.”

“I have a confession," he said softly."Oh no," I sighed. "It's not about the gloves is it?""No," he grinned, and gave me a quick peck on the lips. "I've seriously been crushing on you for about three years.""Really?" I was genuinely surprised. His asking me out a few times never equated to a crush to me. I knew he probably liked me a little, but I didn't think he had a crush on me."Okay, maybe more than crushing. I'm pretty sure I've had some pretty strong feelings for you for a long time.”

“He looked up at me, stuttered a few times, and then seemed to forget what he was saying altogether. I didn't say anything, or act surprised that he stopped talking. I just stared at him, feeling my heart pounding in my throat. "Wow." He said. "What?""You just left me speechless.”