“Wait! Did you sleep with any of my boyfriends?""No, I promise.""Okay, good," she said, relieved."I just made out with one.""You see?" Tabitha said. "She's a whore bag.""Cum bucket," Mayson nodded in agreement."You guys," Donya made a disgusted sound. "Can we save the name calling for later? I want to hear the hoe's story.”

“I don't know which one is the real you," I said. "Are you more like Kyle the dick or Kyle the good guy?”

“Why are you asking me now?" I asked. "Why didn't you ask me before?""You seemed a little...unstable," Mayson said. "Now you seem to be more like yourself...which is still...rather unstable.”

“I haven't slept with him, Mom." I whispered, lying through my teeth. I just didn't want to discuss my sex life with her. She would probably critique my oral skills or something."I should have known. You don't sleep with anybody. That's why you can't keep a man.”

“Dad, why did you marry a crazy woman?" I asked after the usual pleasantries. "I didn't know she was crazy before I married her. By the time I found out, she was already knocked up and it was too late.”

“You love me, but you don't want me," he said with such sadness, I burst into tears. While crying, I had the biggest orgasm of my life as Luke held me tighter than ever and rocked into me and climaxed with me. He wiped at my tears."I didn't mean to make you cry," he said.”

“You can take care of him," she insisted. This was madness. This was a true example of temporary insanity."I can't.""Why not?" She demanded."Umm...I don't...like..." I couldn't say diapers. I had my own baby! "I don't like... black... babies...”