“the city is cold and hard like that bike I stole from your front yard.”
“You did too! You stole my bike, A-HOLE!" I yell out. Jeez, I'm like a Chatty Cathy Doll: just pull my string and I'll say, "You stole my bike, A-HOLE!”
“I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.”
“It creates an effective contrast, like riding a bike down a long and peaceful country road and every other hundred yards the bike turns into a bear.”
“Love is like a forest, I think as I kill trees by squandering toilet paper while “decorating” my ex girlfriend’s front yard.”
“When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.”