“Suffering just to pander to underage cheerleaders. Clearly a winner.”

“I thank her for starting that rumor in my brain that I was lovable. I thank her for her one-woman cult of blood, cum, spit, and razors that called me exquisite and shunned all the winners, cheerleaders, cops, and clear-skinned Hollywood movie stars.”

“For you, there is underage, and then, there is underage. I believe a taste of wine is perfectly acceptable, but please stick to one glass tonight. Now, let’s work on ambiance.”

“I was flipping channels, watching this cheerleading program on MTV. They took a field hockey girl and “transformed” her into a cheerleader by the end of the show. I was just wondering: what if she liked field hockey better?”

“A brick could create a clear winner in a fight if instead of fighting pillows against blankets, you fought bricks against blankets.”

“Suffering ceases to be suffering when we form a clear picture of it.”