“There is a simple rule: practice a kind of generous selfishness. Give a book to a friend, but don't lend it, because you will never get it back. ~ James Wood, author of The Book Against God.”

“The reason authors almost always put a dedication on a book is, because their selfishness even horrifies themselves in the end.”

“Oh kindly books! Like true and trusted friends: What blessed cheer your presence with us lends. Whene'er we spend a pleasant hour with you. We find renewed delight, and treasure's new. Dear Friendly Books.”

“An author is a person who can never take innocent pleasure in visiting a bookstore again. Say you go in and discover that there are no copies of your book on the shelves. You resent all the other books - I don't care if they are Great Expectations, Life on the Mississippi and the King James Bible that are on the shelves.”

“...I happen to be the kind of author who in starting to work on a book has no purpose than to get rid of that book....”

“So, when people try to give you some book with a shiny round award on the cover, be kind and gracious, but tell them you don't read "fantasy," because you prefer stories that are real. Then come back here and continue your research on the cult of evil Librarians who secretly rule the world.”