“YOU WILL REIGN IN TERROR WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT! To do otherwise would make a laughing stock of us both.”

“MODERN SAUDI HISTORY IN FIVE EASY LESSONSIf you did not go hungry in the reign of King Abdul Aziz, you would never go hungry.If you did not have fun in the reign of King Saud, you would never have fun.If you did not go to prison in the reign of King Faisal, you would never go to prison.If you did not make money in the reign of King Khaled, you would never make money.If you did not go bankrupt in the reign of King Fahd . . .”

“Terror, terror, terror. Life was a reign of terror, in the shadow of the guillotine.”

“If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.”

“The peculiarity of sunrise is to make us laugh at all our terrors of the night, and our laugh is always proportioned to the fear we have had.”

“OH, THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING IN THE STOCKING THAT MAKES A NOISE, said Death. OTHERWISE, WHAT IS 4:30 A.M. FOR?”