“United we stand, divided we fallJust watch us as we beat ya’ll.You say ‘brother against brother’?Well, my brother screwed your motherAnd she liked it!We’ll kick your shins and break your knee’Cause all you got is Robert E. Lee.Farbs!”

“Don't take this as a compliment, but you actually don't smell that bad."Dan let out a burst of surprised laughter. "What did you expect me to smell like?""Well..." I wrinkled my nose. "I heard you guys soak your uniforms in urine.""So you assumed I'd smell like pee.""Yes," I said. "But you don't," I added kindly.”

“The next time some desperate parents beg me to take care of their children," I raged, sawing at my slice of chicken breast, "I will ask them for a full accounting of all the boxes of cereal in their pantry. And if they don't have at least three types of sugary cereal, then I will say no. No, I will not babysit for your whiny children in your cereal-deprived sham of a household.”

“Well, you can't have heartbreak without love," Dan pointed out. "If your heart was really broken, then at least you know you really loved him.”

“That waitress was flirting with me," Dad announced once we were out of the restaurant. He said it in his "whispering voice," which meant it was still loud enough for the waitress, all of her coworkers, and the shoppers at every other store in the mall to overhear."Ew," I said. "She was not."Dad chuckled with delight over how hot and eligible he imagined himself to be. "She kept coming over to 'try to collect my plate'...""Because that is her job," I reminded him."And the way she looked at your mother? Pure jealousy!" Dad slipped his arm around Mom's waist. "Poor thing. I left her a big tip.”

“We shouldn't be doing this." Dan broke the silence, his voice low. "We would both get in trouble." He stood up. "Let's go back.""We shouldn't be doing what?" I scrambled to my feet. "What exactly are we doing?""This.""You mean consorting?""Sure, consorting. Cavorting. Carousing." He paused to take a deep breath."Kissing." Then he leaned in and pressed his mouth to mine.”

“So it seems like all of history is concurrent. Its not a linear series of events. Its all happening simultaneously. There is one moment, and that moment is now, and we are always present in it.So Im not reenacting history so much as just living every time at once.”