“Never look a gift lion in the mouth.”

“You should never stick something that you are allergic to into your mouth, especially if that thing is cats.”

“If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats.”

“Can't we sleep ten minutes more? I was having a lovely dream about sneezing without covering my mouth, and giving everybody germs.”

“Xenial' is a word which refers to the giving of gifts to strangers. . . . I know that having a good vocabulary doesn't guarantee that I'm a good person. . . . But it does mean I've read a great deal. And in my experience, well-read people are less likely to be evil.”

“It looked like something the Hemlock needed, or a piece of equipment a plumber had left behind. It looked like none of your business.”

“For some stories, it's easy. The moral of 'The Three Bears,' for instance, is "Never break into someone else's house.' The moral of 'Snow White' is 'Never eat apples.' The moral of World War I is 'Never assassinate Archduke Ferdinand.”