“People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict.”

“When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them. But if someone is trying to hide their tears, it may also be noble to pretend you do not notice them.”

“If you feel . . . that well-read people are less likely to be evil, and a world full of people sitting quietly with good books in their hands is preferable to world filled with schisms and sirens and other noisy and troublesome things, then every time you enter a library you might say to yourself, 'The world is quiet here,' as a sort of pledge proclaiming reading to be the greater good.”

“Bad circumstances have a way of ruining things that would otherwise be pleasant.”

“The manager frowned, as if the middle Baudelaire had given him the wrong answer.That's the rooftop bathing salon," he said. "People who sunbathe aren't usually interested in library science, so they're not picky about the salon's location. Now get moving!”

“Wicked people never have time for reading. It's one of the reasons for their wickedness.”

“Tears are curious things, for like earthquakes or puppet shows, they can occur at any time, without any warning and without any good reason.”