“Reader: Dear Mr. Snicket, What is the best way to keep a secret? Lemony Snicket : Tell it to everyone you know, but pretend you are kidding.”
“I'm S. Theodora Markson," she said."I'm Lemony Snicket," I said, and handed her an envelope I had in my Pocket. Inside was something we called a letter of introduction, just a few paragraphs describing me as somebody who was an excellent reader, a good cook, a mediocre musician and an awful quarreler.”
“Tea should be as bitter as wormwod and as sharp as a two eged swordKit Snicket (a series of unfortunate events)”
“The best way of keeping a secret is to pretend there isn't one.”
“Women know things that men will never know. We keep the best secrets. We tell the best stories.”
“When you're a kid, it's hard to tell the innocuous secrets from the ones that will kill you if you keep them.”