“There are many, many types of books in the world, which makes good sense, because there are many, many types of people, and everybody wants to read something different.”

“But one type of book that practically no one likes to read is a book about the law. Books about the law are notorious for being very long, very dull, and very difficult to read. This is one reason many lawyers make heaps of money. The money is an incentive - the word "incentive" here means "an offered reward to persuade you to do something you don't want to do - to read long, dull, and difficult books.”

“Just because something is typed-whether it is typed on a business card or typed in a newspaper or book-this does not mean that it is true.”

“So you’re reluctant, I said to myself. Many, many people are reluctant. It’s like having feet. It’s nothing to brag about.”

“If you are interested in happy endings, you would be better off reading some other book. In this book, not only is there no happy ending, there is no happy beginning and very few happy things in the middle. This is because not very many happy things happened in the lives of the three Baudelaire youngsters.”

“There are many things in life that become different if you take a long look at them.”

“There are many difficult things in this world to hide, but a secret is not one of them.”