“There was something I was always very good at, however, and that was teaching myself not to be frightened while frightening things are going on. It is difficult to do this, but I had learned. It is simply a matter of putting one’s fear aside, like the vegetable on the plate you don’t want to touch until all of your rice and chicken are gone, and getting frightened later, when one is out of danger. Sometimes I imagine I will be frightened for the rest of my life because of all of the fear I put aside during my time in Stain’d-by-the-Sea.”

“I like to do things that frighten me. When I’m afraid, I understand more things. I want the feeling... All my instincts cry out against it, every morning anew. Then I say, ‘I should do it. If I don’t do it, no one will do it for me.”

“Were you really not frightened?""Sometimes I was terrified, but that was the whole point.""You wanted to be afraid?" She couldn't imagine deliberately putting herself in a position of fear.“I wanted to test my courage, my determination. It was a journey ofdiscovery, but it was more about what I discovered within myself. What Idiscovered about the world was simply a bonus.”“And what did you discover—about yourself, I mean?”“That I’m not nearly as weak as I thought, nor nearly as strong as I’dhoped.”

“When I die of heart failure the next time you frighten me like that, you can put that on my gravestone—‘I didn’t mean to startle her.”

“I can't help it when people are frightened," says Merricat. "I always want to frighten them more.”

“Death, I discovered that day, is not frightening, because it is utterly still. And it is still because death, when it comes, is always over. There's only terror in it if you fear it and ever since my first death, Wes' death, I have never feared it. It is simply the end of a story, and if you've loved the story then it is sad. And sometimes, as it was with Wes, it is an agony of sadness.”