“Okay, 'Best Party Ever' -- to me, that's like saying 'Best Gym Ever' or 'Best Nature Documentary Ever,' like how good can it really be?”

“Rich, you don't need to fight it. I'm not like, trying to frame you. I am letting you know that it is OK for you to act on this fantasy, because I am gross and so are you.”

“Guys warning girls not to fall in love with them is so truly douchey that it should have a higher success rate.”

“I just don't want to be around people who don't hate everything in their life right now.”

“Enjoy going through life as yourself.”

“i really like kingdom hearts its like the best book ever”

“So Achmed if you've been in my suitcase this entire time how have you been getting through security? Oh thats easy they open the suitcase and i say 'ello my name is lindey lohan!”