“إذا كنت تؤمن أنّ هناك من إله، إلهٍ صنع لك جسدك، ولكنّك لازلت تحسب أنّك تستطيع عمل أيّ شيءٍ قذرٍ بذلك الجسد، العيب يقع إذاً في المصنِّع”

“People are leaving the church and going back to God.”

“Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it.”

“If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.”

“If you can't say "Fuck" you can't say, "Fuck the government.”

“The 'what should be' never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no 'what should be,' there is only what is.”

“The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it...try to fake three laughs in an hour -- ha ha ha ha ha -- they'll take you away, man. You can't.”