“They say that God watches out for children, drunks and fools. Simply put, this means I stand a two-thirds better chance for divine intervention in my life than most other people. ”

“People are leaving the church and going back to God.”

“Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.”

“If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.”

“I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like "What I'm Going to be If I Grow Up”

“If you can't say "Fuck" you can't say, "Fuck the government.”

“Take away the right to say ‘fuck’ and you take away the right to say ‘fuck the government.”