“Why do adults have to diminish everything by feeling they need to end meetings with a false positive? It's so selfish. They say it not because they believe it, but because it helps them feel some kind of accomplishment when they walk away. Like they've done their job. But what do they leave behind?It's like when teachers tell Tyler that he should be a lawyer because he's good at arguing, but meanwhile he can't pass grade nine. No one wants to say he's stupid, or that he's probably going to end up in jail like his brother, so they fill his head with these stupid dreams until he's eighteen, with no credits and totally messed up for life. I say, tell the truth, squash the dream, and stop with the second chances.”
Modern Relevance
In this quote, Lesley Anne Cowan highlights the dangers of offering false positivity and unrealistically high expectations to young people. This can lead to a lack of accountability and a false sense of accomplishment. Today, this issue is still relevant as society continues to grapple with the balance between encouragement and setting realistic expectations.
Quote Analysis
In this quote from Lesley Anne Cowan's work, the speaker raises a critical point about the tendency of adults to sugarcoat realities and provide false positives in order to avoid discomfort or confrontation. By doing so, the speaker argues, adults are ultimately doing a disservice to young individuals like Tyler, who may benefit more from hearing the truth rather than having their dreams falsely propped up. This quote challenges the notion of constantly offering second chances and instead advocates for honesty and realism in order to truly help individuals grow and succeed.
Example of Usage
Lesley Anne Cowan uses the concept of false positivity to critique the way adults handle meetings and interactions with young people in this poignant passage. She argues that being honest and straightforward, rather than sugarcoating or offering false hope, can lead to more positive outcomes in the long run.
Reflection Questions:
In this powerful quote, Lesley Anne Cowan raises important points about the impact of false positivity and unrealistic expectations on individuals, specifically on young people like Tyler. Reflect on the following questions:
- How does the practice of ending meetings with false positivity affect the overall outcomes and dynamics of the meeting?
- Do you agree with Cowan that adults often use false positivity as a way to feel accomplished, rather than genuinely believing in what they are saying?
- Reflect on a time when you may have been on the receiving end of false positivity. How did it make you feel and how did it impact your actions or decisions going forward?
- What are the potential consequences of not addressing the harsh realities or limitations that individuals may face, as seen in the example of Tyler being encouraged to pursue a career path without academic success?
- In what ways can honest and transparent feedback contribute to better outcomes and growth for individuals, even if it means not sugarcoating the truth or squashing certain dreams?
Similar quotes
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“You were always saying you were gonna shoot him," he mutters, but it's kind of half-hearted. "Stupid fucking little tit, he needs a bullet in his head. What do you keep him round for, anyway?" Because he makes me laugh. Because, fuck knows why, he adores me. Because he needs somebody to look after him and nobody else knows how. Because everything about us is wrong and I never ever want to be right. Because I wake up in the morning and see him sleeping next to me with his stupid dyed hair and his stupid painted nails and his stupid toy monkey and I remember I love him so much I don't know what to do, I love him I love him I LOVE HIM.”
“Well . . . he lets it ruin his life. He gets so obsessed with going after the one thing that hurt him that he loses sight of everything else. He becomes isolated from everyone and everything. Paranoid. He feels like he can't trust anyone around him ever. In the end, he loses everything, even his life. And for what? Total stupidity, if you ask me.”
“He wants to tell her that he is not hopeless, that he is not filled with hatred or violence, that he is not a number, a 300 or 600 or any hundred, but just a kid with no one and nothing, and who would do anything to make it otherwise. Just tell me how, he wants to scream. He wants to tell her what it's like to have the same dream night after night, that he's playing tag with his little sister, laughing, happy - then waking up and not knowing if the image in his head is a dim memory, or just something his mind cooked up to fill the black hole. Do you know what it's like to have no past? he wants to ask. And behind it all, like a ringing in his ears, is the question that really nags at him all the time, the one that has haunted him since he was six years old and his family evaporated. He wants to ask it, then and there and for good: What did I do wrong back then? What did I do to deserve this life?”
“Funny thing how it is. If a man owns a little property, that property is him, it's part of him, and it's like him. If he owns property only so he can walk on it and handle it and be sad when it isn't doing well, and feel fine when the rain falls on it, that property is him, and some way he's bigger because he owns it. Even if he isn't successful he's big with his property. That is so.''But let a man get property he doesn't see, or can't take time to get his fingers in, or can't be there to walk on it - why, then the property is the man. He can't do what he wants, he can't think what he wants. The property is the man, stronger than he is. And he is small, not big. Only his possessions are big - and he's the servant of his property. That is so, too.”