“The master was an old Turtle--we used to call him Tortoise--'Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn't one?' Alice asked.We called him Tortoise because he taught us,' said the Mock Turtle angrily; 'really you are very dull!'You ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking such a simple question,' added the Gryphon; and then they both sat silent and looked at poor Alice, who felt ready to sink into the earth.”

“And how many hours a day did you do lessons?' said Alice, in a hurry to change the subject.Ten hours the first day,' said the Mock Turtle: 'nine the next, and so on.'What a curious plan!' exclaimed Alice.That's the reason they're called lessons,' the Gryphon remarked: 'because they lessen from day to day.”

“He said he would come in,' the White Queen went on, `because he was looking for a hippopotamus. Now, as it happened, there wasn't such a thing in the house, that morning.'Is there generally?' Alice asked in an astonished tone.Well, only on Thursdays,' said the Queen.”

“That would never do, I'm sure,' said Alice: `the governess would never think of excusing me lessons for that. If she couldn't remember my name, she'd call me "Miss!" as the servants do.' Well. if she said "Miss," and didn't say anything more,' the Gnat remarked, `of course you'd miss your lessons. That's a joke. I wish YOU had made it.' Why do you wish I had made it?' Alice asked. `It's a very bad one.' But the Gnat only sighed deeply, while two large tears came rolling down its cheeks. You shouldn't make jokes,' Alice said, `if it makes you so unhappy.”

“Cheshire Cat: If I were looking for a white rabbit, I'd ask the Mad Hatter. Alice: The Mad Hatter? Oh, no no no... Cheshire Cat: Or, you could ask the March Hare, in that direction. Alice: Oh, thank you. I think I'll see him... Cheshire Cat: Of course, he's mad, too. Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people. Cheshire Cat: Oh, you can't help that. Most everyone's mad here. [laughs maniacally; starts to disappear] Cheshire Cat: You may have noticed that I'm not all there myself.”

“Take some more tea," the March Hare said to Alice, very earnestly."I've had nothing yet," Alice replied in an offended tone, "so I can't take more.""You mean you can't take less," said the Hatter: "it's very easy to take more than nothing.""Nobody asked your opinion," said Alice.”

“Well, it’s no use your talking about waking him, said Tweedledum, when you’re only one of the things in his dream. You know very well you’re not real.I am real! said Alice, and began to cry.You won’t make yourself a bit realer by crying, Tweedledee remarked: there’s nothing to cry about.If I wasn’t real, Alice said– half laughing through her tears, it all seemed so ridiculous– I shouldn’t be able to cry.I hope you don’t think those are real tears? Tweedledee interrupted in a tone of great contempt.”