“Shoot low, boys. They're ridin' Shetland ponies.”

“Life is like a dog sled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.”

“Life is like a dogsled race. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.”

“I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.”

“Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.”

“On a New York subway you get fined for spitting, but you can throw up for nothing.”

“When my love comes back from the ladies' room, will I be too old to care?”