“College football was a religion in Alabama, and Saturdays in the fall were holy days.”

“And if Bitsy was so all-fired set on everything being perfect, she wouldn't have scheduled the damn thing on a football Saturday. Nobody's going to miss the Alabama game for a wedding, for God's sake. We'll be lucky if the priest shows up." ~Aunt Muddy”

“Fall in Alabama was menopausal: hot one moment and cold the next.”

“A part of her, the female, horny part she generally tried to ignore, sat up and took notice when he smiled, the shameless hussy.”

“On the freak-out scale, she was past the 'heebie-jeebies' and into 'pee yourself'.”

“Holy crap. Is that an elephant penis?”

“Maybe she should stop reading those damn romance novels. They were giving her crazy expectations.”